Stupid Search Tricks, No. 2: “Cancel Google” 

Remember those people who left a lot of angry comments on a ReadWriteWeb post that happened to be the first Google result for the phrase “Facebook login?” Well, today's search fail is even better: a blog post that happens to be the top result for the phrase “Cancel Google” is getting tons of comments from angry internet users who want to, yes, cancel Google.

To wit:

hello i am 82 years old and google is on my computer withour permission IT IS UNCONSTITUTIONAL. my compoter is slow now and i want to contact the internet what is the number?

The comment thread dates back to 2007, which makes me wonder how many computers ‘hijacked’ by Google.com were actually just ‘upgraded’ by helpful family members, or Nerd Herd employees, or some of the assholes jokers leaving sarcastic comments in the thread, like this one:

Just type in the following registration number and you will get the anti-google goggles.

(Note: Please keep a record of your registration number, as you will have to enter it each time you get on to that Internet)

A98X-NN7689B-IJUNTX5555-NII2H3H3-IDIDI-GOO-GO–G00-G00-GA-G
A-8J7654-CKEUH-KIDJU-0980-JXJX768-KU789-UH-ARGHHHH-1

It comes free with the Google. Google will still be there, but you won’t be able to see it when you are wearing the Google Goggle.

Next time you feel like "helping" your parents improve their internet experience, maybe instead of upgrading them from IE to Chrome or Firefox, maybe just try showing them how to use what they have?

Or perhaps just buy them an iPad?